I was so bored and The Simpsons Movie wasn't doing it for me at that moment. Sorry, SpiderPig.
Here's what I did. I wanted to make character 100% randomly. None of those burdensome decisions, just pure dice rolls. I did this for EVERY aspect: ability scores, race, class, skills, weapons, armor, deity, alignment, etc. Using only the rules found at www.d20srd.org, and rolling via Wizards' Dungeons and Dragons Dice Roller, I set off on my ridiculous quest. No rerolls!
I figure I'll create his story AFTER I randomly generate every aspect of him. Could I possibly fashion a credible storyline for this gent, or would it be mayhem? Either way, let's check it out.
Ability scores. 4d6, drop the lowest. Straight down the line. Strength 13, Dexterity 10, Constitution 8, Intelligence 12, Wisdom 16 Charisma 8.
Race. 7 core races, so d8 (8 means reroll). Roll: 3. Elf. This adjusts my ability scores to: Strength 13, Dexterity 12, Constitution 6, Intelligence 12, Wisdom 16 Charisma 8.
Class. 11 core classes, so d12 (11 means reroll). Roll: 11. Wizard. So far so good, we'll have to do something about that average intellect.
So after three rolls this is what I have: A sickly elven wizard who doesn't show much promise in his chosen profession. No worries, plenty of people seem to become successful, even against the odds. Case in point: Dustin Diamond.
Alignment. There are 9, so d10 (10 means reroll). Lawful Good is a 1, Neutral is a 5, and Chaotic Evil is a 9. Roll: 8. Neutral Evil.
Class Options: Familiar. There are 10, so d10. Roll: 1. He has a pet bat.
Skills. I get 12 skill points, so I'm going to roll to see how I spend each one. d20srd shows 36 skills. The dice roller has a custom die, so d36. If I hit a skill with options I'll roll that out too. Roll: 32,12,6,36,24,17,34,25,30,20,21,6. I add one point to: Survival, Forgery, Craft (Trapmaking?), Use Rope, Profession (Teamster?), Intimidate, Tumble, Ride, Spellcraft!, Listen, Move Silently, Craft (Trapmaking!) WOW. Most of these make no sense, and all but a couple don't even provide for a full +1, as they're cross-class skills. Must have went to a liberal arts school.
Feats. 71 feats without prerequisite feats, so d71!. Roll: 66. Toughness. Eh...ok.
Religion. 19 deities. d20 (20 means no deity). Roll: 4. Erythnul, god of slaughter. At least the creepy motif plays so far.
Wealth. I rolled out 90gp for the guy to start with. I'm going to roll a d% to see how much he spends. Roll: 55. He'll spend just over half, or 47gp 5sp. How to roll what he buys is a tough one.
Weapon: No weapons are off limits. 72 core weapons. Roll: 8. A club. How very...blah.
50% chance he'll carry a ranged weapon. Roll: 56. No ranged.
Armor: I know, wouldn't this guy NOT wear armor? He's 100% random, so, that's not for me to decide. Roll: 28 (lower 50%) so yes, he wears armor. Chain Shirt!
But a chain shirt costs 100gp. Does he really want it? The dice say YES (50%). What is he willing to give up for it? d%: 1-50= he's in debt. 51-75= he stole the money. 76-90= it's rusty, discount! 91-100= he's paid for it, with a body part! Roll: 89. Rusty chain mail. Sounds like a dirty sex act in medieval times.
I forgot to roll up the gender! d%. Roll: 16, male!
Ok. That's it. To recap: A Lawful Evil male Elf wizard, severely unfit for his current profession, with a ridiculous spread of skills, extra hit points, rusty chain mail and a club. At least he has his pet bat, Slugger, to help him out.
To the dungeons!
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